by Natalie Nov 10, 2006
category :
Sadness, depression /
about depression
My, |
Dang Gurl You Know How To Write. You Feel All The Emotion With Just So Lil' To Say. Keep It Up, Cuz I Just Added You To My Favoritez List! 5/5 |
by Jessica
Awhh, another great poem hun. The descriptions were great and the flow works well. In the fourth line, you wrote "struggling" and I'm not sure how you pronouce that.. But to me that is only two syllables, if you pronounce it "strug-el-ling" then it is fine though. Also, in the first line you used the word "my". I always like short poems like this better when you do not use any "the, my, she, he, her, they's" and so on.. So I think if you added a better word in there that would also improve it. Very nicely done though. 5/5 |