So sorry, my love

I come home from school
stressed out and tired
only to find you alone
my love
angry at the world
I walk in the door
You grab me and hit me
leftover bruises
from yesterday
freshen with each hit
tears spring to my eyes
why do you do this to me?
such punishment is fit
for nobody
no dog nor animal
no human should bear this pain
at fourteen years
I am no match for your strength
thrown against the wall
I slump semiconscious
to the floor
you grab a wooden spoon
and hit me
it finally breaks
when it hits my shoulder
so ashamed
am I
no one would believe
that you
my love
would try to kill me
day after day
stopping only
when too tired to go on
but today
you seem to have
excess adrenaline
hitting and hitting me
bruises and bloody lips
mean nothing to you
my love
my pain is your relief
but today
I will take no more of it
I drag myself to the kitchen
slowly moving
like the broken animal I am
once there
you grab my ankles
and flip me onto my back
you fall upon me
but I kick you
my love
in your most sensitive spot
you recoil slightly
just enough for me to reach
reach for what I need
you do not see me grab it
I hide it in the back of my pants
and fall back to the floor
just as you recover
you grab my shirt
and rip it roughly down the front
I cry softly
as you angrily caress me
I reach behind my back
weeping harder
you don't notice
until the last moment
when
sobbing
I plunge it into your chest
my love
your eyes go wide
with shock and pain
you look down at it
the silver blade
embedded in your heart
your blood is streaming
down the handle
staining me
you reach for he knife
try to pull it out
but you crumple
too soon
your blank eyes
my love
are staring deep
into my soul
crimson sheen of blood
is staining my hands
I pull out from under you
I wail
so sorry I am
to have killed you
my love
so sorry am I
to be the one leftover
from the ongoing fight
oh my love
I cry
heartbroken
for you
my love
are here no longer
and it is all because of me
though you hurt me
and kept me alone
I still loved you
and I still killed you
oh I am so sorry
for what I have done
to you
my love