The Unwelcomed Friend

Once a month, I have a "friend" who comes to say hello.
But I dread it when she comes, for I hate her so.

She makes me sad and depressed so I eat all of my food.
She makes me smile then makes me mad, so I'm in a sour mood.

Because I've eaten my fridge, I'm stuck in my sweatpants.
I gripe at everyone I can, no matter how kind their glance.

I'm covered with these dots of stress in the brightest shade of red.
And no matter how hard I try, I can't get out of bed.

I'm late for work because she locks me up in my very own John.
And I can't get out till I figure out how to put these sticky pads on.

She ties me up in front of the tv with sappy movies playing.
And no matter the threats I yell, a whole week she's staying.

But when she leaves I shout for joy and dance the night away.
Unfortunately next month sometime, she'll be back for seven days.