Maybe is I couldn't hear
I wouldn't hear her yelling at me
Maybe if I couldn't see
I wouldn't have to see my ugly puffy, red face after I cry
Sometimes I feel like cutting myself
Maybe the rumors are true
That is calms you
Relieves the tension and stress
But my nails aren't sharp enough
I want to so bad
But I fear her finding out
She doesn't take me seriously when I finally told her that I need help
She thinks that it's just cause my brother got help that I want it too
Like I just want more attention or something
I hear people joke about it all the time
"I know a good psychiatrist you could see." One said to the other
The other replies, "I'm not crazy!"
I want to ask WHO? but the other girl beats me to it
"Do you really know a psychiatrist?" She asks.
"No"
My hopes vanish right before my eyes
I want to tell someone and I know this may just sound like excuses to you
But my friends don't want me depressing them so I can't talk to them anymore
I think about this slump I'm in
I've been in denial for a few years know
Pretending like everything is fine
People notice I'm sad it's true but if you asked them if they thought I was depressed I'm sure they would deny it.
I usually only cry at night
NO one notices or hears me cry
Except when I use to call my friends late at night
They use to comfort me but I have no one to talk to anymore
I ask myself how long I can take this
Can I take this anymore?
I've never had suicidal thoughts...
