Well This One Could Use Some Work, But The Overall Meaning Is Very Clear. So 5/5 x0x

This was good, but as LoveLustTragedy said, it could use a little bit of work. The only real problem I had with it was the ending. It made sense and everything, but "You'll hit the floor." Just seems a little forced, as if you were just looking for a word to rhyme. I think you could have chosen something better.

However, this was a good try. Nice work.

I liked this.
I think it could be a little longer, have more emotion in it and some imagery.
But the meaning behind it and the pain was very clear and I liked the rhyme scheme and wording. 4/5

Different, but I liked it. could be a little longer I felt. Keep up the good work.

Peace, joe

I liked this, it was creaive and unique and a pleasure to read.
You have a lot of talent.

This was a good poem, however i felt like it lacked a little bit of something in between. I would have loved more descriptions, because it would have been very swell. 4/5 [: