Trapped Within

by TaKe Me As I Am   Nov 12, 2006


Trapped within herself
her heart stays in its cage
the girl once filled with bundles of love
is now consumed with rage

When she walked she was so beautiful
and left people in awe
her smile was that of a movie-star
she didn't have a single flaw

But now she walks extremely fast
with her head faced towards the ground
she stops to look at no one
her self-esteem is nowhere to be found

Her eyes used to reflect her self-image
both positive and strong
though now they are filled with emptiness
and reflect a life gone so brutally wrong

Trapped within herself
unable to break free
she cries herself to sleep at night
as one thing echoes through her mind; 'why me?'

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by steve

    I agree with the other comment great rhyming, great emotion just needs work on the flow

  • 18 years ago

    by *Charisma*

    Okay, the flow was way off, but I did really like the poem. It rhymed very well, but it just lacked the flow...so if you worked on that, this would def. be one of the better poems on the site. Really! Here's one suggestion for a stanza. Btw this is all to help you grow, not to criticize in a bad way!
    When she walked she was so beautiful
    and left people in awe
    her smile was that of a movie-star
    she was the most beautiful thing anyone ever saw
    My suggestion:
    She walked so beautifully
    Leaving all she passed in awe
    Smiling like a movie-star
    Without one single flaw

    Hope it helps you with more ideas!
    Charisma*

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