Wow, that was really good you really know what you're doing! keep it up..kk buh-bye!
Burning~Wings

Woah - that was not how i expected that poem to end! Amazing you have talent.

Kelly
xx

OMG! u got !.YAY/

Cool ending

Showed alot of talent with this piece, really sad and emotional.
flowed well, words used made good imagery.
keep writing,
love Tara-Kay

Really sad and emotianal peace of writing. Had a great flow, and the word usage was really good. It had great imagery inside it. The ending was unexpected, and im sure it schoked everyone. An excellent read! Keep up the great work! xx

Great job on this. The emotion was great and your poem ended very good... not that killing yourself is something good but the way u ended it. In my opinion its great. 5/5 keep up the good work

I like it
but it feels like you should write it in 3rd person to make it more realistic
like your tellin a story

Wow...the ending was sure twist..atleast i did'nt expect it to end tht way.....it was beautiful....filled with emotions sad n emotional...n penned properly.
but i do think it'd hv been better expressed wth the usage of third person..kp writing!
it has it's own beauty!
xxPoojaxx

Your poems are so sad some of mine are like that. i write down what i want to feel and all the horrid things that are in my mind this makes me fell better because if i want to have a good day i write and upsetting poem that would get rid of all my worry, anger, greif, anyway this poems remined me of some of mine:~)Sam

I love this poem. Its not your fault... such a great concept that everyone can relate to! The way it was written was very effective. But at the same time... it almost made me feel like I wanted to save you. Being able to fill a reader with emotions like this, ... I'm speechless. 5/5