Mirrors lie

Worthless is how I feel
Because purity is beyond me
I cant understand or live normally
Im unable to function correctly

This defect within my body
Seeps through to my mind
Poisons a once talented head
Even these words I struggle to find

I cant even understand enough
To express how I feel
Confusion is the only definite
The only part of me that's real

Because I am not whole
Im pieces of different worlds
Extremities lie within me
But not a disturbed girl

Not an imperfect child
Nothing less than the straight a's
Never worse than top of the class
Always smiling, always unfazed

Deceit is an almighty power
Within me to fool you so
How amazingly good ive become
At making you think ive grown
And making you think im not low

But you wouldn't know
How I break every night
Or how I hate these days
Theres nothing but this black light

Enraging me with something
That I cannot describe
Illusions fill my mind
But im certainly not alive

Im just waiting for the day
To come to an end
So the exhaustion of fake
No longer has to blend

And I can be released
From this mask ive created
That even Ive fooled myself
Into believing im not hated

But hated and jaded I am
Only by the walls Ive set up
Within my own life
Preparing me to give it all up

It seems i'm slipping back
Through the cracks
Where nothing helps
And everything's black

This place im dwelling in
Is far from any reality
These hues blind me
Beyond any clarity