Chilling \'n Swilling

Warm sun beating on my face
The garden is a lovely place
Small birds warbling way up high
Fragrant roses drifting by

Swing chair rocking all the while
Ive got a solar-powered smile
Garnished glass with lemon twist
Paradise- it does exist!

Another refill - I'm on cloud nine
My leafy haven is mighty fine
A further drink is oh so pleasant
- Until a pigeon drops a present!

A creamy mass plops on my leg
"A tissue quick!" you hear me beg
"That bloody bird has burst my bubble
If I could fly there would be trouble!"

The stinking bus chugs to the shops
A siren now- must be the cops
The flower scent then turns to smog
Will someone stop that yapping dog?

Wet kipper style I get a smack,
My sober mind is brought straight back
I've woken from the meadow pretty
My garden is next to Leicester city!