Where did god go?

When I was younger I had so much faith.
Everything was perfect, wonderful great.
Even when I lost my home I didn't care.
Because, I knew that God was there.

But then things went wrong I became a bully and thief.
But my belief was there underneath.
I made my friend want to die in pain.
Still she is sad, and I cant help its insane.

I was bullied and pushed for 3 years strait,
Why didn't God stop it eh?
I made cuts i my arms and scared them up good,
I couldn't see past my own self pity, didn't care for my friends like I should.

I am trying to change truly I am,
Cant god see that and give me a break?
Still I will lose close friends and allies's
I know God is there I know that with all my soul,
But has he abandoned me?
I think he just might!