Is it really a hard life?

It is a hard life for me.
Love is a word I do not know.
Getting attacked and beaten.
Why do you hate me so?

Hate is all that hurts me.
Yet, I am afraid of many things.
I am afraid to talk, walk and love.
I am afraid to spread my wings.

My father has gone.
My mother hates me.
She is never here;
She always leaves me.

I was at home, alone;
Last week.
I had no pennies but one.
I was furious and bleak.

Why does my mother hate me?
I think I was a mistake of another man.
I think I might;
I think I may have a wonderful plan.

My father is not my father;
Though; I am probably mistaken.
I want to live in heaven now;
I just want to be taken.

Nan, why did you not take me with you?
Away from this broken home.
I am sick of being hurt, lied to
And I am sick of being left alone.

I would die now if I could.
You are the only person that loves me.
I love you too but hate mum and dad.
Can you not tell? Can you not see?

I will be with you soon, Nan.
Do not threat; I will use my treasured knife.
I am going to take away all my problems
And take my own life.

© Emma Brown

Comments and votes appreciated.
Much love, Emma xox