After cancer...now i can only imagine

Now I can only imagine
I was only a ten years old in fifth grade.
I was eating dinner one night,
with my whole family.
We had chicken, pees, and mashed potatoes.
I was mixing my mashed potatoes and pees,
when my dad said that he had something to tell the family.
We all turned and looked at him.
He said, â??I went to the doctor today,
and they said that I have colon cancer.â??
In shock, everybody dropped their forks
but me.
I started choking on my food,
and felt like I was going to throw up.
I ran to the bathroom and started gagging.
All of sudden I stopped.
I was crying.
Tears of death,
ran down my face.
Tears of memories, jokes, fights, and love
ran down my face.

My mom ran into the bathroom
and saw me crying,
She asked, â??Are you ok?â??
I asked, â??Is Daddy going to die?â??
â??I donâ??t know, I donâ??t know,â?? she said in an unsure voice,
I cried.

I cried that night and in the morning when I thought about it.
The day my father went to the hospital,
I wanted to be with him all the time.
We visited him the next day.
I saw him in the hospital bed with that hospital robe on.
He had needles in him and wires hanging everywhere.

I was so happy to see him
that I ran and jumped on the bed.
I thought that this was the very last time I could jump on him because with the cancer I wouldnâ??t be able to.
During his cancer, I prayed.
I prayed.

I prayed at home with my sister.
After the cancer, we went to visit him again.
I was about to run in and jump,
but I couldnâ??t.
Imagine the last time.
you could jump into your fathersâ?? hands.
Now I can only imagine,
because thatâ??s what Iâ??ve been doing since.