The Subject

He said he would never leave
He said he wouldnt let me push him away
Now we hardly speak
Hes angry at me again
All the friends before left
And it didnt hurt this much
We were close my other friends and I
We would laugh and play
I took care of them
But when I needed someone they didnt care
Then he comes along
He listens and wipes away my tears
For once I had a friend who cared about me
Not just had me around for the fun of it
Then things changed with raged breaths and groping hands
Then he still listened but was angry at himself
But I knew he blamed me
He says I tempt him
I was innocent and didnt know
All my life all any man wanted from me had nothing to do with my mind
I hope I was wrong but it always comes to that so fast
And I just want to please them so I grin and try to be cute
But at least I could tell them to stop
He kept saying it . . . just tell me to stop
Just like when I was so young and the man who was old enough to be my grandfather
All I can remember clearly was him asking me over and over if it hurt
I was so young I didnt know
Slowly but surly the thought of any such thing makes my stomach turn
This one is sweet and I try to keep my distain of this to my self
I dont want him to know how much it bothers me
I want to be normal
To be able to flirt with the subject like everyone else
Why cant I just be stronger?