Pretending to be happy

So I'm with a new guy
i thought it was great
but every time we kiss
the love turns into hate

for every time i kiss him
i imagine he is you,
all the things you did to me,
all that weave been through

why did you hurt me so bad
why is it affecting me this way
i thought i was over you,
but the feelings wont go away

so should i keep on lying?
to everyone plus myself?
or should i pretend to be happy,
nothing more and nothing else