Fallen Defences [Haiku]

by Jessica   Nov 15, 2006


Petals gently fall
Flowers left without defense
Foes prey on weak hearts

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A haiku has three lines with a syllable count of 5/7/5 and is usually pertaining to nature

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by dollwithafrown

    Three S's - Short, Sweet and Straight to the point.

    Really well done. I liked it a lot. Nice imagery created.

  • 18 years ago

    by Goran Rahim

    Hmm, myself im not a big fan of Haiku,but i liked the imagery of the poem, great job once again.

  • 18 years ago

    by LadyPearl

    This an interesting poem. It makes sense, but in away, I have a sense that it's relating to humans as well.

  • 18 years ago

    by Darien

    Really neat imagery. Just an idea...

    instead of petals being the defence, maybe try thorns? I don't know I think I'm attempting to re-write your entire poem.

    Thorns slowly turn dull
    Roses left without defence
    Foes prey on weak hearts

    Up to you cyber wifey! Awesome job anyways! woohoo!

  • 18 years ago

    by Jackie Marie

    I like it. 5/5. I really don't know what to say about it. I have never tried to right a poem in that style. You did a great job at it. Keep it up.

    >black&&blue

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