Going crazy

I'm so sick of crying,
I look fine on the outside
But on the inside I'm dying
My world is spinning out of control
There is no end to all this pain
Too much has built up
Oh how can I survive?
All I'm living, is a endless lie
The drop of the roller coaster
Seems to never come back up
Its only one big plunge...
There is no up.
You can try to dig yourself out
But its almost impossible
Because I'm to deep down
I don't even have the strength to try and get out
I'm so done with everything
All the sh*t and pain in my life
But I cant get off this stupid roller coaster
Cause its almost as addicting as every sweet inhale of a cigarette.
I think as much as I write
things arnt going to change
People say I'm going crazy and going insane
But I'm not.
I'm being put in endless pain.