Yeah this is nice peened dark poem and such a good choice of words i think you are improving now!!

Geneross

I don't think this is anywhere enar as good as the others of yours I've read. I don't even think it's well written as it stands. There's that "pending doom" again, and the crow is now a raven. And although the imagery is pertinent to the mood of your writing, I don't think the way you've structured this tells us anything about the reasons behind it's creation. You clearly love to write poetry, but I can't help but feel that this would server you better as a "first draft" rather than a published item.

It's kinda like an exquisite jigsaw puzzle: all the pieces are there but you've not put them together, just sorted out the corners and straight edges. ;-)

A few spelling mistakes-
Preses-Presses, brow-brown alos i think grass shoudl be grasses

Also i did not like these two lines -
In a blink of an eye,
It seems to your tired eyes,

it makes no sense.. and made me wonder-huh?
i think that part would be better as-
either
In a blink of an eye,
The grasses turn brown,
All around you

or
It seems to your tired eyes,
The grasses turn brown,
All around you
In a blink of an eye,

Other wise good job, there could be a few breaks.. and commas, because in some spots it sort of flows 'too' well. where its like a runon sentence..

=]

Again excellent! I love the imagery. But i think you would work on the ending. Other then that its great!

Wow, another 5/5 poem from you, you are a good writer, keep it up.

I dont understand the meaning behind the poem. Like, why did you write this? Did someone hurt you or a friend? Is it about a generally depressing person? It just sounds like you used a lot of depressing words just to sound like a depressing person and chances are, you're probably not. Maybe you are but this poem doesnt sound like it. 4/5

The stanzas were a bit uneven in this one. The flow was changed because of it. Keep up the good work though. *4/5*

Alyson

This poem reminds me of a dark alley and the crow really set the scene. Isnt it weird the way we associate certain withs with different atmospheres lol anyways good write well done.

xxx alex xxx

Very nice word choice!! I really enjoyed reading this poem!

Wow I loved all the metaphores in this poem it was wonderful to read a poem that was straigh to the point like most poems on here are. the last stanza was definatly my favorite the image of a crow always makes me think of gloom that isnt weak in any way but isnt a huge focus. well done. This is definatly one of my favorite and if you dont mind I'm going to add it to a book I have with all my favorite poems.. dont wrry I will give you credit for writing it.

Some part os this was a little hard to follow, bnut that could just be me. I like the use of the crow again. and even though there are a few spelling errors, I think you did a good job. 5/5

Very strong, loved the flow, the work was very good. 5/5 babe.