Hurting on the inside

Sitting here singing
i realise...
how many ppl are dying that affect ppl i know and love

i thought i had seen it enough within my own family
now i have nightmares about everyone i love dying.

not a tear is shed
not a memory lost
just pain inside
the will to live and help where i can
keeps me from running away

while inside i feel like i\'m slowly dying each passing day
outside is as it always has been
happy and caring
forgiving and loving

nightmares and nights long ago still vivid in my minds eye
i still remember that day and those preceding it.

approaching that hospital
something changed in my heart just disappearing
once again time beat me to my final goodbye
in that instant i felt my bond with u fade away
i still remember how peaceful u looked within that room
now and forever gone
lost battle of cancer

so vivid an image that two years on i still dream of it
fearful that so many i love will soon leave me too

but forever hopeful that things turn out different
i know that one day soon each and everyone of us will have that day to say goodbye forever

while i feel each of u slipping away i hold on to hope that u stay with me for years to come
and that is how it will stay no matter the outcome

no more tears will be shed
just increasing pain on the inside
within my heart as ppl fade
but still remaining happy for what i have