No title

by Tricia   Nov 16, 2006


All through the night,
I lay awake and think of you.
A distance between us,
Thinking of nothing but you.
My heart beats your name,
My flesh hungers for your touch.
Darkness surrounds me,
You are my light.
You better stay with me,
Or Ill put up an efin fight

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  • 17 years ago

    by Melpomene

    I found the ryhme scheme to be a little off throughout this poem. Again you used different schemes. I didnt like the efin part it seemed to slang to be in a love poem. This kind of lacked emotion i think the last line through me off it a bit because it just seems so basic. If you used different words then i think this could work out maybe make it longer? i'm not sure. But nice work~mel

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