Great imagry. you paint a powerful picture with your words. x

So good, so good. Have you considered LiveJournal? It's much better equipped for stories, and you could just post the link here, ne? Still, 't'was awesome, and I really loved it. 5 from me ^^

Wow this is reallly good. i defiantly like it a lot. it's full with soo much emotion. great job! 5/5

~Kristina

Great job, and you can make a great poem out of this, if u want to, 5/5

I lovedt he decscription and imagery in this short story. It was really intresting and i did want to read more and moreo f it as it went along. There was emotion in it and that made it really cool. I have to say i really did enjoy it. You captured me and made me want to read mroe and more. An excellent read! Keep writing and thanks for your ocmments! xx