The Darkness in Me

The darkness in me eats at me,
tears me from the inside out.
The emotional suffering I'm going through,
is unbearable,
uncontrollable.
So I accompany that emotional pain
with physical pain,
a suffering I can try to control.
The feel of the razor against my flesh,
is such a sudden rush for me.
And with that rush comes memories,
memories haunt me,
haunt me with torture and anguish.
I think to myself,
"Who would miss me when I'm gone?"
"Who would care if I end it all here
and now?"
I keep telling myself to stop this,
to stop thinking this way.
But then again,
what if I can't?
What if I keep thinking this way,
keep slashing,
keep the blood surging.
I could go insane!
I could lose it all.
My family,
my friends,
everything I hold dear!
all to the darkness in me
and every part of me dies.