What once was ... and now is

I'm sick of the pain,
And, tired of the tears.
I'm fed up with all the lies,
And, living my worst fears.

I hate the fact i love you,
And, when you make me cry.
I hate that you left me,
Without saying goodbye.

I hate that you were wrong,
And, everybody else was right.
I hate that i let you walk away,
Without putting up a fight.

I can't stand your absence,
It's slowly killing me.
Once my other half,
Now my enemy.

As much as i say i hate you,
I really love you deep down inside.
As hard as i try,
My tears are impossible to hide.

So i sit silently on my bed,
And, cry to myself.
Wishing ever so badly,
I had the life of some one else