Under Winters Sigh (ode to false love)

Drowing in solitude
and in bitter vice
im burning in pain
hope discharged
faith be it slain
pitiful to see
how passion proves
itself
not be sane
in revolting rage
be love like a sage
penetrating the quivering flesh
within my fragile heart
a living death consumes me
devours me
slowly i seem to slip and die
die,
under winters sigh
hope is embedded in dead leaves
from the tree of forgotten memory
impatient, i wait
for the beams of tommorow
and cease the breathing
of the inhaled ashes
of the dear missed septic
of long decayed love
that once burned like wildfires
and now remain ashes
that i slowly choke on
covered in dear thought
wondering why death brings its cold kiss
and why it feels so unreal
feels like death, feels like tommorow
i die in life,
i die,
under winters sigh
pierced by fear
i coax a small tear
to denounce the failed whisper
of my dwelling grief
inside that tear
lies a faint desire
to feel that fire
once again
my body quivers fiercely
like a frightened dove
in human hands
due to the false splendor
and ardor of the false love you gave
i took it all in
and believed
but soon enough
i was deceived
a mere shadow of a childish thought
and you call that
strong emotion?
now i am but a loose seam
hanging from an old doll
ready to split, ready to break
do you savor my agony
do you enjoy my living death?
i die,
under winters sigh
finding it hard to ignore
this screaming bitter gore
the endless war of whether i should
begin to ever trust you
like before
i hear this fear of you
violently knocking on my door
why must've it all gone
when i cherished the kiss
from your moist lips
and now i feel it's poison
biting my lips
but like
the gradual moon
bathes in night
and dreams in day
i will have my sorrows
and will have my deceit
but in all
i will realize with sweet relief
that deaths horrid kiss was
like your love for me,
another bitter illusion
and i will live on
breathe on
hide in this peaceful darkness
and restore my strength
someday, my love,
you will understand the pain you sought to me
and so with your recognition
i can rest
i can live
live,
under winters sigh