A castaway in the shadows
He dreams of dancing meadows
And love everlasting
His mind always casting
Always rejected and lame
Not one flicker of fame
His mercury wish Playing,
Silent like a fish
An obsession with one girl
To him, a beautiful pearl
In despair, he found her ribbon, gold
She wasn't to know the ribbon he would forever hold
from the past she did not know
she was the girl that made him glow
I like it,
you have very good connecting and meaningful words in it. I like it how you really showed in simple terms how much this girl ment to him... except delete those question mark crap and maybe instead of gurl use girl, i find it offensive, for poetry is very meaningful and doesnt deserve to be used with internet slang
good luck and keep writing,
Light xx