My bittersweet curse, the inner battle

All the troubles that I have
Are those I make myself
Two people fighting inside my head
They will be each others death

I canâ??t hold on
I'm losing grip
Of all that could bring joy
I can't help it, I break it down

Don't want to see
All the good that could be
I only like the bad and the worse
That's my bittersweet curse

I can't hold on
I'm losing grip
Of all that I care for
Don't want it no more

When all the voices scream
Living in an icecold dream
ice cold warmth, without the good
Watching the dripping blood

Maybe it's the poise in my vain
That causes all this pain
Or maybe it may tear
For another wasted year

But through this all
Yet I didn't fall
Fromthe battle in my mind
Without gain of any kind

It's tearing me apart
The ending will be hard
I'm standing on the line
Between the death and the alive

Just wait till I'm gone
The days that fears won't come
The worse may have passed by
But the worst is waiting nearby