Why am i still here

Why am i still here?
everything here i fear
no one loves me
all i ever get is hurt
josh and every one else say they love me
but i don't think they do
all i really want to do right now is die
some times people yell at me for cutting
but thats the only thing that takes my pain away from me
i cant help but want to end my life
but every one says i have so much to live for
but to tell u the truth i don't
some times i lay at night and cry
and wonder some times why do i want to die
i cant ever think about happy things
nothing happy ever crosses my mind
some times all i can ever think of is death
i really don't want to die but i cant help but want to
some day i know when i die ill regret ever thinking of dieing
but for now all i ever wonder is why am i still here?
why cant i die now