Lost

Lost in the real world
Lost in my own world
Never to find a place in either
Where I'll belong
Never to fit in, never to be wanted
Never to belong, never to be cared about
Tabula Rasa, starting over, clean slate
But how to go on when
You begin to understand that
There is no going back
Or is it just easier to blame...
Fate
Destined to be Lost forever
Lost, always
But always lost, though without Charlie
With no rock star to make everything right
No used to be drug addict to encourage me
No peanut butter, imaginary or real,
To convince me to move on
Lost forever and for always
Never to be rescued
From this island
Been here too long
16 years, 5 months and still
No one to rescue, to help me
Lost ... always and forever
In green eyes...
Masses of mental alcohol
Won't even drown the problems and feelings
Somehow, somewhere they had learned to swim
Won't drown, in alcohol or tears
Because
It is all tears when
All hope is gone
Because hope
Is a very dangerous thing to lose
Lost
And never to be found
Never to find where,
Somewhere, anywhere
To belong...
Lost and alone when happiness and love,
Madness and anger are
Gone like yesterday, and only
Sadness is left
Living in this world, knowing all the faces
Each one the same
But always different
Meaning me no harm,
But not allowing me to change
Still Lost...
With no Locke to guide me,
To help me understand the mysteries
Of this island
And to understand my own faults
Lost ... always and forever
In green eyes and
That smile, and
That voice that are
Always there, like a ghost
With me as it's host
Never to actually see,
To hear, to know... because
Lost, in this strange place
Far from home
But never dreaming home would end up
Where I don't belong, but also
Never knowing where home is...
Home,
Where the heart is
But where is my heart?
It is Lost
Lost in not depression
But in "Obsession"
Lost as in not knowing
Where I am or
Where to go
And though Fellowships,
Eternally bound by love and friendship,
End
Lost, without anyone,
No one but yourself
Reaching out for human warmth and
Only finding yourself
In your heart,
When understanding begins to dribble in,
You know that there's
No going back
Some things that time can't mend
Some hurts that go to deep
That all take hold
The realization that it won't change
The feeling won't go away
Because it never does...
The empty feeling, the haunted feeling
Of never belonging, never fitting in,
Never knowing exactly where
Being Lost,
In the green eyes...
With only pictures and videos
And never the real thing,
Never to be the real thing
Lost
With home behind and world ahead
Through endless shadows, never to
Reach the edge of night
Never to be happy, to be
Completely in tune with life
Not even remembering what it feels like
To be happy
To want to really live
To be complete
Only to feel lost,
Like a child
That already lost their childhood
Crying for a life that's no longer yours
Being trapped with no way out
But only one
The end...
Or a new beginning?