Well we've all been here, haven't we? And you get the tenderness across in a succinct enough fashion that helps keep the reader interested to the end, I feel. But I can't help feeling a bit short changed as far as emotional depth is concerned. Why aren't you together any more? Is this other person the reason? Or is more about consequences of your self? |
This is a great poem, i like the flow, 5/5!!! keep it up |
by veronica
As much as i love love lol i hate it too. its absoultly doesnt make sense! but i liked ur poem. for me i usually rhyme but poems dont have to and with yours i still all the emtion and feelings you had while writing this. good job |
by LadyPearl
Good job. I think Loss should be Lose. Also, here's a hint of advice. Many...to much poems have the save lines of "what does she have I don't" and that kind of thing. The key to an effective LOVE poem is to be creative, abstract and DIFFERENT. Because Love is the most common subject to write on. To stand out, you've got to be unique. ^-^ Keep it up |
by LadyPearl
Oops, I meant too much of poems that have the sAme...etc. |
I felt this was really well expressed. There were just a few mistakes that could do with fixing: |
Awwww. That's sad/sweet and very good. Keep up the great work! 5/5 |
5/5. I loved it. I felt so much like the feelings in the poem. Great write. Keep up the good work. |
by Jenni Marie
I loved this, and I can relate. |
by Katlynn
This is an amazing poem you have writen here && very emotional. I hope your going to be okay && yes i've been here before && it sucks but it's not a reason to leave this world because you lost the one who you love it just means that you were everything but he just didn't see it. that's what i think && you don't have to agree i'm just sharing. |
by Kristina
Wow amazing poem with sooo much emotion in it. it is very emotional. excellent job on it. keep writing you have talent. 5/5 |
It's a gud 1.. For other people can understands it. I can understand it, even still has mistakes. Keep writing N I will comment N rate more. |
by rae
Wow thats really good I write to but mine aren't that good. |
by John
I just loved the end - and laughed out loud !! Nice one fire-lily. |
by Haven
I loved it a lot still some flow problems, however I loved this part: |
by Vanessa
Well expressed, the flow was ok and other than a few errors with grammer you did another excellent job 4/5 |
by Jenni Marie
I thought this was beautifully written. |
~I like this poem but it hurt me deep i this is my worst scenario that could possibly happen to me. I hope your not suffering from this bcoz this is deep. I have lost my boy and he went with somebody else for a while it completly destroyed me as you can tell from some of my poems. Luckily he realised he didnt love her he loved me so in time we sorted things out and wil have been together 2 years on friday. best wishes |
by Kaila
I know how you feel or felt in this poem. I loved every bit of it! I think a lot of people can relate to it which is always a good thing. |
Wow I loved this poem.. it was just magical the way that you showed how hurt you were by this situation but you didnt do what a lot of us do and go over board or become bitter or cruel. You just stated that you were hurt instead of attacking the other people involved in this. Nice job. that shows what a strong person you are. I loved this and I hope that things get better for you soon. |