Comments : Killing me slowly

  • 18 years ago

    by Ed or Ian Henderson

    Well we've all been here, haven't we? And you get the tenderness across in a succinct enough fashion that helps keep the reader interested to the end, I feel. But I can't help feeling a bit short changed as far as emotional depth is concerned. Why aren't you together any more? Is this other person the reason? Or is more about consequences of your self?

    Some bad English too. But we can all be forgiven for that when we're writing from the heart. Not a bad effort at all.

  • 18 years ago

    by Shad0w0faPh30n1x

    This is a great poem, i like the flow, 5/5!!! keep it up

    Bryan,

  • 18 years ago

    by veronica

    As much as i love love lol i hate it too. its absoultly doesnt make sense! but i liked ur poem. for me i usually rhyme but poems dont have to and with yours i still all the emtion and feelings you had while writing this. good job

  • 18 years ago

    by LadyPearl

    Good job. I think Loss should be Lose. Also, here's a hint of advice. Many...to much poems have the save lines of "what does she have I don't" and that kind of thing. The key to an effective LOVE poem is to be creative, abstract and DIFFERENT. Because Love is the most common subject to write on. To stand out, you've got to be unique. ^-^ Keep it up

  • 18 years ago

    by LadyPearl

    Oops, I meant too much of poems that have the sAme...etc.

  • 18 years ago

    by dollwithafrown

    I felt this was really well expressed. There were just a few mistakes that could do with fixing:

    "It hurts me to see you to holding hands,
    As you pass me by,
    What did I do to loss you my love,
    Does she have something that I don't,
    I just don't understand,
    Why you would leave me for this other woman,"

    The first line should say, "It hurts me to see you TWO holding hands,"

    And the third should read, "What did I do to LOSE you my love,"

    On the last line here -

    "It's killing me slowly,
    But I don't care,
    For I will never love again anyways,
    And I have no reason to live,
    With out you in my life,"

    'Without' is all one word, not two.

    Anyhow, this was really good. I enjoyed reading.

  • 18 years ago

    by BeautifulxMess

    Awwww. That's sad/sweet and very good. Keep up the great work! 5/5
    God Bless. Happy Thanksgiving.

    ~*Tay*~

  • 18 years ago

    by TheWorldFellNUWerentThere

    5/5. I loved it. I felt so much like the feelings in the poem. Great write. Keep up the good work.

  • 18 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    I loved this, and I can relate.
    I thought it was beautifully written and I enjoyed the flow, imagery and wording.

    Stay strong!

  • 18 years ago

    by Katlynn

    This is an amazing poem you have writen here && very emotional. I hope your going to be okay && yes i've been here before && it sucks but it's not a reason to leave this world because you lost the one who you love it just means that you were everything but he just didn't see it. that's what i think && you don't have to agree i'm just sharing.

    keep it up. keep on writing. love always && forever. also thanks for commenting my poem means alot to me.

  • 18 years ago

    by Kristina

    Wow amazing poem with sooo much emotion in it. it is very emotional. excellent job on it. keep writing you have talent. 5/5

    ~Kristina

  • 18 years ago

    by pLeASeTakEMyHeArT

    It's a gud 1.. For other people can understands it. I can understand it, even still has mistakes. Keep writing N I will comment N rate more.

  • 18 years ago

    by rae

    Wow thats really good I write to but mine aren't that good.

  • 18 years ago

    by John

    I just loved the end - and laughed out loud !! Nice one fire-lily.

  • 18 years ago

    by Haven

    I loved it a lot still some flow problems, however I loved this part:

    I still love you,
    And I always will,
    But I wont get in the way,
    Of your perfect romance,

    that part alone I shall give you 5 for

  • 17 years ago

    by Vanessa

    Well expressed, the flow was ok and other than a few errors with grammer you did another excellent job 4/5

  • 17 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    I thought this was beautifully written.
    Very intense and the emotion shines through the words.
    The last part is very powerful, I thought it had a lot of impact.

  • 17 years ago

    by Choose xX Alex Xx Life

    ~I like this poem but it hurt me deep i this is my worst scenario that could possibly happen to me. I hope your not suffering from this bcoz this is deep. I have lost my boy and he went with somebody else for a while it completly destroyed me as you can tell from some of my poems. Luckily he realised he didnt love her he loved me so in time we sorted things out and wil have been together 2 years on friday. best wishes

    xxx alex xxx

  • 17 years ago

    by Kaila

    I know how you feel or felt in this poem. I loved every bit of it! I think a lot of people can relate to it which is always a good thing.

  • 17 years ago

    by Ashleigh Skye

    Wow I loved this poem.. it was just magical the way that you showed how hurt you were by this situation but you didnt do what a lot of us do and go over board or become bitter or cruel. You just stated that you were hurt instead of attacking the other people involved in this. Nice job. that shows what a strong person you are. I loved this and I hope that things get better for you soon.