Over and over again

Believe me,
When it starts to kick in,
You'll understand.
Without it, you fall to pieces.
You can't live,
You can't breathe.
Your nothing without it.
You end up down long roads.
Your life is a dirty puddle,
Nowhere to swim.
But i wanted to swim,
And i wanted intersections of possibilities.
Most of all i wanted you.
I got what i wanted out of cocaine,
except you.
You just felt sorry for me.
I was a mess,
I am a mess.
But with cocaine I'm a different person.
I'm the girl who has no problems,
At least to everyone else i am.
But you knew me all to well.
You tried to help me,
But i suppose i didn't realize until it was too late.
For awhile, my puddles turned into oceans,
and i got my intersections.
Everything worked just fine.
But my intersection didn't have lights,
and everything crashed.
Just a big wrecked pile of my life.
My ocean dried up,
and i had nowhere to swim.
And somehow i still managed to drown.