Hmm I'm suprised I didn't notice this one...I think that it's great. you have a great skill for putting rhythm into your writing, and it works wonderfully. the entire poem was great, and I love the sort of light/dark comparison. it's her wedding day, which should be a day of happiness. yet, she cut herself and bleed to death...most likely due to depression. pretty intense. you're definitely evolving and becoming a MUCH better writer....keep it up.

your druggy friend
Tripp