Two Big Problems (one for the ladies)

Now listen to my story and try not to laugh,
for i have a little problem which you may think is rather daft.
Now my chest is huge and this is by no means a joke.
i fall asleep at night and the weight of them makes me choke.

You have no idea the task that going to bed can turn out to be,
for they are so big they each need a pillow, i need a double bed all to me.
The only way to guarantee a good nights rest,
seems to be an over the shoulder boulder holder, in one of these i must invest.

I ask myself why cant i be a petite little C?
Hell i am so desperate i would even settle for a D.
But no i am an F, a natural Jordan till the end,
i feel very abnormal, i can not like them, i can not pretend.

Now listen to my plight for it grows worse as i go on,
i am only a petite little frame, and my height measures 5 foot 1.
I look like a may topple and my bra looks like a tent,
it gets me upset, then gets me mad, i feel anger i must vent.

But they can come in very useful,
i use to my advantage you see.
If anyone makes a mean jibe or a comment,
i will hit them with my boob, knock them out cold easily.

And well that bra that looks like a wig wam,
it can make a rather good sling shot, gets them right between the eyes PING and then BAM.
I suppose you should make the best of what you\'ve got,
but i will kill the next chauvinistic b@s-tard who looks at them and says HOT!

Well all that is left to say is i am a women through and through.
And Mr Leery over there, whether i go from A right through to H
has absolute f@*k all to do with you!!!!!

*YOU GOTS TO LAUGH AT YOURSELF**PLEASE VOTE + COMMENT I APPRECIATE ALL*