And again

I'm sat alone in my room
on the frozen bed
staring out my window into the obnoxious street
trying to remember
the words once said

i shut my eyes and open them
but i am still the same
the nightmare hasn't woken up
the crazy thoughts in my head
are still playing games

i cant believe i let myself start again
since its started I'm falling
this time I'm alone
no one to talk to
but the knife in my hand

i need to get out but what shall i do?
a bottle full of sleeping pills
a broken blade
or running away past the horizon
past the hills

if i tell Polly i drag her down
i cant do that to her
would she do it to me?
she is loved
has a future

why did i let these feelings come back?
I've bottled them up so on one knows
i laugh and smile to keep them happy
but they cant see the real me
see my arm for what it is

my smile is make up
night it gets washed away
and in the coldness of my room
a knife and my feelings
like to play

i cant stand it any longer
i need to get away from this place
i need to leave these people
no longer show my face