Run away

Again all collapses and I can't do anything to avoid it,
Today I feel the desire of running away, go far away, and hide of myself.
I don't want to think, I don't want to remember my mistakes, my failures,
I don't want and I can't!
Me, that I've promised myself not to fall in love again, me, that was so sure of myself...
I've left him stole my heart, broke it into a million pieces,
Again I've committed the same mistake!
Now I'm the one that ask for help...
Because my mind is a torment that carries me to a further pain,
An unbearable pain...
A new injury that I don't desire to become a scar...
No...I don't want anymore scars..there're too much and I don't want more!
What have I done wrong in my life?...everything! My life is already a big mistake...
But I don'tt learn how to fix it; I'm a human being without arrangement,
I'm a human that doesn't deserve to have what he have...
I can't excuse anymore for my failures, I can't keep doing it,
It'll be like cheating myself, and I can't live this lie anymore,
I can't keep picking the crumbs that life give me,
I can't continue begging love, affection even friendship.
I need to run away, go to a place where I can't find anyone, even myself,
I need to forget...but I can't!
There's so much pain accumulated and I can't do anything to avoid it,
I can't...I can't!
Now I make a parenthesis...and my thoughts carry me to passed times.
All my past and my present are mixed, everything is so dark,
Where's the light?
I can't see that light!
I look forward, and there's emptiness a precipice that calls me,
Come!!...it says to me...Come!!
I want to go but, what stops me now?
Nothing, nothing stops me because I don't deserve anything...
I just want to run away, take a break, close my eyes...
And start to live in my eternal dream.

well...this is my first "poem"...jijiji emjoy it =P