Good job. I think it will be a awsome song with music.

"So don't think to slow"
[So don't think too slow]
- It's a mistake on the written version, not sung version. (:

"Don't act to fast"
[Don't act too fast]
- I didn't see that before, but it's right after the one above. (:

"The day has past"
- With this line, I'm wondering how it sounds sung. I don't like it too well. And, I'm thinking I wouldn't like it too well sung either. I'm not sure and can no way truly judge that though. You very well could. What I was thinking, if it works better or if the other doesn't seem quite right is; the days gone by, the days have passed, so on. Just not that line? Lol ..

I must say I really like this song. Not just because I found mistakes either, haha. I think it's emotional in a manly yet emotional way, lol. It's well written, well though out. As majority of yours seem to be. It shows proof of a talented writer. (:

I enjoyed reading this, thank you for sharing :)

Though I am wondering what the tune would add to it.