Rely on a blade

She always tried to convince herself that she wasn't alone.

Though those lonely nights seemed to never end.

Those hours were her greatest weakness.

No one there to keep her mind from crossing that line.

The line between her alleged identity and the dark truth.

The feeling of complete solitude, broke her soul.

She could not seek the help of her family or friends.

Couldn't bring herself to tell them the heart-breaking truth.

That despite all their efforts, and despite their beliefs of her recovery.

She was still the same if not worse.

Not all the strength in the world could bring her to say,

That despite being surrounded by all that loved her.

And despite the aid of their comfort, reassurance.

She still felt numb, empty inside, there was no future no hope.

Only getting through each night with the help of a razor.

Sliding that blade across her wrist, releasing a river of red.

All the weight of her troubles and sorrows decrease temporarily.

Keeping her from ending it all, giving her a moment to refocus.

A moment to of silence from her thoughts,

To think of a purpose, a reason, anything to keep going just one more day.

Fool herself that she didn't really feel alone worthless all the time.

And those moments a the river flows are what keep her alive.

Help her make it through another day without losing herself,

Guarantee that her loyal mask doesn't shatter

Revealing the wreck behind it, exposing all her secrets and fears.