Lightly I have noticed,
my category of a list.
I put them all as dreadful.
Scared.
You got an Idea who they are?
MEN.
He ruined my life forever.
But I don't show it,
For them to see.
I'm pretty on the outside.
Only the nine counselors have seen the real me.
And thats a damage I pay for.
I caused it on my own.
I played his games..
Lost some.
I played them for so long.
I was stupid and young.
Ugly and dumb.
Betrayed and overwhelmed.
I'm older now.
I understand.
I'm a masterpiece in his hands.
Although I have no scars..
You should see my heart to prove it .
But I gave it up.
I thought.
I cut before too long.
So recently I slashed that pin.
Cutting deeper and deeper,
Into the naked skin.
But he stopped me.
He said no.
Yet no harsh words,
On top of it all.
No hits or words.
I sighed to whine.
What was this?
My time of time?
I still wonder,
For you disappeared.
You were never there,
It was a dream.
And so I wonder this whole deal.
It's complicated messages.
For I will never again be real.
