Time to leave

by broken barry   Nov 30, 2006


No more anger, no more pain
Nothing left to keep me sane
Emotionless, Lost
Alone in this world
What did I do?
What did I say?
Just another trick up your sleeve?
This disappearing act has gone on to long,
Its time for me to leave

    report violation
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  • 18 years ago

    by xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

    I like your poetry, you seem to have a lot of potential...But, there's something about it that just screams young writer.
    May I suggest trying less cliche rhyming? Like me, see, be... That's cliche - over used. And rhyme throughout the poem, not just two or three lines.
    I think you can do it; I have faith in you. I'll be keeping an eye on your poetry... Don't disappoint me. =]

    xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex5.5

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