Inner demon

When I was little and in elementary school
I was a contemplating demon not a fool.
I had a deep inner devil
And my thoughts were often evil.
I thought of how to get away with murder.
I pointed out the flaws of any killer
I thought of how to hide evidence
And how to falsely show my innocence.
I was not all evil there was good
But the evil took over whenever it could
This was often but it stayed in my mind
In control but signs were hard to find.
My emotions were outside me and I felt few
Though I cried and seemed to care it was not true

I was a very paranoid little boy
Never trusting treating everything like a toy
When they tried to test me I quickly knew
And I would allow for very few
It insulted my intelligence, violated my trust
And it infuriated me turning my mind to dust
It made my outside cry
But inside I wanted them to die
The good screamed not to
Do what the evil wanted too
Trying to fight back
Every time widening the crack
Between the two halves of me
Slowly they both wanted to become free
They left a hollow husk behind
With no soul only a mind
This was the beginning of myself
No one but me knew this self
I sat back unable to be in control
Only sitting back in patrol
Learning and watching them
Evil often taking control at a whim
I found myself trying to find morality
And questioning mortality
I then realized which side was right
And I joined it in the fight
Since then I have been in pain
But its worth it even if I go insane
To try and make others pain less
But it will surely leave my mind a mess
But I have excepted this and now I’m the target
For his angry blows that make me forget
The memories I try make
Making them foggy and fake
It is painful and it is not fair
But It is worth it to actually care
About how others feel
And knowing that my love is real