PTSD

Darkness closes in
Suffocating and drowning me,
Causing me to remember
Forcing me to see.

The world fades away
Distant and out of sight,
In mind I am in the past
Thrust back to an ancient night.
Back to being a child again
Pressed against the wall
Shaking and crying
Engulfed with fear.

Can hear him coming
His feet against the floor,
Know what will happen
When he comes through that door.
Can hear people telling me
That all in ok,
It's not real, just my mind
That it will soon all go away.
But as I fall still deeper
These voices disappear,
Replaced by my own heart beat
As the footsteps grow near.

Relive the falling water
Burning through my skin,
The beating and the suffocation
Administrated for every sin.

Suddenly I am in the present
Shaking on the floor,
Shaking and fearful
Unaware that not in danger any more.
Can hear people speak to me
Ask if I'm ok,
All I can do is look at them
Wishing the memories to go away,
Slowly they begin to fade
And I am free from the past
But forever I am knowing
This flashback won't be the last...

Small things trigger them
Send me back in my mind,
Situations I try to avoid,
But still I am entwined.
The darkness brings more fear,
Sleep will not come
Lay there exhausted, terrified
Until the rising of the sun.
Cannot trust anyone
Think they will bring only pain,
Always see ulterior motives
For them there is a gain.
Emotions seem numbed
Can only feel the memories,
The present just passes me by
Like dust upon the breeze...