Life has a way of shutting me out,
The tragic simplicities I ask for becoming null and void,
I watch the world go on around me,
Wondering why I no longer exist to anyone.
Whether it be the darling boyfriend of mine,
The friends I so longingly miss,
Real comfort from a family I should love,
Or the loss of faith to a God I feel nothing for.
I stand in the middle of this crazy world,
Surrounded by the most perfectly imperfect friends,
Feeling as though I can no longer breathe,
Internally dying as I physically go on.
Perhaps they perceive me as strong,
The way I smile and laugh as loud as I can,
As if that wasn’t a dead giveaway to all,
And yet these feelings still remain masked.
Slowly I watch my life dwindle away,
Weakness filling my body within,
I tire of the monotonous merry-go-round of pain,
I need to feel blood flow through my veins once again.
Go ahead and call it a mental problem,
I’m not sorry that you don’t understand this call for help,
It’s a personal issue that I’ve long evaded solving,
For the path to coming back has long been destroyed.
