I really liked this poem. It's really deep.

Just to show her that I care
To show that I care SO much
to let her see a new star shine
every second that we touch

thats my fav. stanza... well, 5/5

This is very good david, alot of emotion in this poem, i give it a 5/5!!! keep it up!!!

I love your poem. Your feelings really come through in your words. Great job!

Wow! Awesome poem dude! I haven't read your stuff for quite some time and man its Getting better and better!
It's like when you write your poems i can feel the pain, even if it hasn't happend to me [Does that make sense? lol probably not] anyways nice flow, nice rhyme nice rhythm! Overall i loved it! Well done 5/5

Keep SMiling
`*-Tormented

Aww, David!! This was so sad, but sweet at the same time. I loved it!! And Tormented is right, you ARE getting better. Lol. Stay up!! Love ya,

-Poetess

This is a relly good poem but i think you could chose different wording to make your point stronger in the 1st 2 stanzas. but i absoloutely love the end. very nice job!

Nice rhyme i love your styles so much,...great work so much heart in it. comemnt mine i have to many to add ive been writng so much but nvr posted them so please read the ones u havent and comment tsm.

lissa

Oh and what is this based on?

The realness burns through here,. its sad yet so refreshing..keep up the great jobb.

lissa