I'm Not Okay

She wants me to become different,
She doesn't want me
She wants me to be perfect,
She wants me to be like her.

She wants me to pretend
Just to make her happy
That I wasn't me, I were her,
As perfect as can be.

She wants me to be as pretty
As she was back then
Wants me to do everything,
She once did too.

She hates the way I speak
She dislikes how I dress
& hates the way I look,
She's now controlling everything.

She wants me to hate Daddy
As much as she does, since he left her.
She wants me to lose weight,
So I could be her perfect China doll.

My refelction is breaking,
I become fake
And as my laugh gets weaker,
it gets harder to pretend.

I wasn't the daughter she wished to have had,
Spit image of my daddy is all she can see
I wish she would love me for me.

Every day it gets harder
Harder to hold back the tears
Harder to fake a smile
Harder to say "I'm okay".

I want her to love me,
Like a mother would a daughter
But she doesn't, & I want her to know...
I'm not okay.