I miss you

Dear Mom,
I hope that youre proud of me.
Ive been trying really hard to move on.
Its hard sometimes though, not having you around.
Dad doesnt understand what its like to be the only girl.
I really wish you were still here.
You could have helped me understand everything thats happening.
I just want to tell you that I fell in love for the first time.
His name is Evan and I love him very much.
I just wish you could have met him.
I was only 10 when you left Mom. I didnt quite understand what forever meant. Its been five years, and I understand better now.
Im trying to be brave like you made me promise. Im so scared though. Im afraid of having my heart broken, because i know you wont be there to make it better.
Im afraid of growing up. Mom I really wanted you to be here. I know it isnt your fault.. I just wish things could have been different.
I know youre watching over me, and guiding me down the path I was destined to follow.
Sometimes I dream about you mom, and then I wake up and cry, because thats the closest Ill ever be to you.
Ill never forget the letter you wrote to me the night before you passed.
"Ellie my angel, I know youre scared. Im scared too. Just know that your my baby, and that Ill always be in your heart. If you ever need me, just close your eyes and Ill be there. I promise baby, everything is going to be okay. Daddy and Steven are here to take care of you. You know that your daddy and your brother love you. And dont you EVER forget that I love you.
Do you understand? I love you Elliebear. With all of my heart"
I love you Mom. Youre the most beautiful woman i have ever met.
I miss you and Ill always be your Elliebear.

I know you probably all think this is me trying to get your sympathy, but it isnt. My mother died of lukemia 5 years ago, when I was 10 years old. She died 2 weeks before my older brothers birthday.
I swear that this is true. I miss her every day, and would give anything in the world to have her back. I just hope you all remember to say "I love you" to the ones you care about, because you dont know if youre ever going to see them again. You all have so much to lose..