Still waiting

I thought it was over
Thought I made it through
Never to look back
Made over new

Trying to forget
But just cant let go
Why the crap was it me?
What are you trying to show?

Whats the lesson?
Is there a reason?
Why did this happen?
My life needs a new season

Scar on my face
Never the same
Fine till I look in a mirror
Looking for someone to blame

Went through the worst alone
Now how do I let people in?
Trying to forgive for not being there
But cant make them understand the pain within

Want them to know
Want them to get it
Cant help but be mad
For that I feel like s***

What the crap is my problem?
Why am I so messed up?
Is my whole life inevitably filled with pain?
Forever doomed to be corrupt