A long time waiting

All that i can see is the silhouette of trees and the distant flashes of lightning beyond my window pane.
I lie here waiting for a masked stranger to finally pull the trigger on me, like my very own brother did to himself!
You could feel sorry for the family I'd be leaving behind,
for the fact they'd have to clean up the blood i so willingly gave!
For the fact that as days, weeks, and months pass, the memories they had of me would vanish...never to be remembered again.
Mourn with them!
Tell them "it'll be alright"
let me assure you, you'd be doing me a favour.
Helping along with the process of forgetting!
...he wasn't scared to die, so why should i be?