This is so emotional! I love it!
You are a very deep writer!
5/5
xoxo

I absoultly loved it! All the words just came together perfectly. I really liked the ending too. But I think you might want to have someone look at your poem to add puncuation. very good!

I think im actually in love with this poem!! no, nevermind, that would be a little weird. this poem is so amazing, i really do wish i could write like that. this is my favorite poem of yours!

Forever*Yours

You had a lot of beautiful passion and emotion but I think you kind of took from it with a cheesy rhyme scheme.
Try ditching the rhymes and being more raw.

Aww. sad story. i really enjoyed it though!!

much love and many kisses,
bex

I liek that every stanza ends in
This is why I cry my tears
This is why I hide my fears.
this way the poem has much more feeling i find. keep it up 5/5

Wow this was really good I thought the rhyming sounded a little forced but it was good you did a nice job

It's a good poem, I'll give you that.

Maybe it's your style, but in the spirit of improvement, I think it could use a bit.

First off, although you have a really nice idea, and I love the lines
"This is why I cry my tears
This is why I hide my fears."
I couldn't find an explaination, like, I could't find the "this is why" part...

It's good, yeah, but I thik it's a bit too rhyme oriented, as well. Maybe if you tried writing something like this, and just put more of yourself into it... try writing what makes you feel this way. Don't think about rhyming, you don't even need to think about vocabulary, just write what you think, and it would be great.

I think you have potential, but I also think you need to keep writing, and expanding, too.
Write something a little less cliche. Just write whatever comes to mind, and then you'll really be getting somewhere.

I voted, and gave this a 4/5 for a good try.
I hope this comment doesn't upset you, make sure you keep writing!

Just contact me if you have something you'd like to show me, or if you want some serious input.
Keep writing, don't give up!

Love the poem great job...5/5.......your are a really good writter......oh and if you will can you please rate and comment on my poems thankz.....

I love the way you made this one rhyme. it was beautifully written. great job. and thank you for the comment

I think... its AMAZING!
well done so descriptive and the repitition of

"this is why i cry my tears
this is why i have my fears"

along with the small changes made was a great idea =)
well done!

Love
Jacs
xxxx