Pity and hate cross

So loving
so caring
trying my best to show it
not to be angry
or if so
just a little
every once in a while

yet
everytime i think of them
the "friends" from the past
who put the knife in my back
the girls who were
only high school friends
mean nothing to me now
but they do

they tried
tried to ruin me
tried to break me
let me fall
put in the knife and twist

everytime i think
about them
those girls
this flood of anger
pours back into me
filling every inch of me

i need to serve as an example
love
and be loved
my life is better now
than they could ever hope for

i always though of this
this revenge
of my happiness
looking gloatingly
at their misery
yet i am sad
sad for them
pity them
try to help them

so why am i still angry
why do i still hate them so

i help them
at the same time i spit at them
i tried to reconcile
but they wouldn't take it
they just stabbed me again

so angry at them
poor lost souls

pity and hate
did you ever know
such opposite emotions
could cross?