Friendly suicide

The more you tell me to follow,
the more i will stray.
tell me get in line,
i will never again obey!
you will no longer force me to do things that i don't want to do!
I'm not your slave!
some of the things you've said to me i will take to my grave.
my heart is rotten and black,
it's all your fault.
no one knows why i am this way,
why I'm so cold.
emotion means nothing but emptiness to me.
i cry at night but remain stone faced during the day.
why do i have to fight?
I'm gonna die tonight.
don't cry for me,
i only say this for me,
i know you wont cry.
I'm gonna make you remember what you've done to me!
staple your eyes open and make you watch me bleed!
i have no other way to stop the pain.
people die,i hide.
my death is the only one i can cope with without losing my mind.
my blackened heart will stop beating right before your bleeding eyes.
you are going to watch my pain,
find that maybe your problems aren't so bad,
everyone dumps their pain on me.
I'm their rock.
Black and armor clad,
but even a rock will wear away with time.
my hidden contents will spill along with my black blood,
colored like good wine, it used to be mine.
now other's pains have made mine impossible to find.
people think i don't mind,
i will be there for them,
but who is there for me?
can't anyone see the blood flowing down my arm to the floor like a river?
they should.
their eyes are open and yet they are blind.
ignorant of the pain they inflict on me every day.
my empty body is growing heavy,
i fall to the floor cold and pale.
in my death i can only pray that you see how being a friend is supposed to be.
a double edged sword,
you have to be there to,
it can't just be me.
now I'm gone,
dead on the living room floor,
but i can hear your mind,
you still don't know what just happened.
i can feel your fear.
that, at least, was instilled as i had hoped. Goodbye forever so-called friends,
miss me now,
for you wouldn't save me then.