My will of pills

Kally- you are really good. keeep it up.

Kally
you are good at writting poems. keep it up!!! :]

Okay here is what the changes that I see need to be done. some MAY be incorrect if they are I'm sorry!

I take some water,
I take some pills.
I take it good,
I take it well.
As I swallow the last of the pills;
I start to write all of my wills.
As I write this long letter;
I hope everyone's life will be a little better.
On my cheek the tears start to form;
Everyone tells me they regret the day i was born.
I can feel my self growing weak,
I feel the tears pouring down me cheek.
I'm growing tired and I'm falling down,
All i can see is black and brown.

Very good though. I liked it all but the very last sentence. I don't know why you would see brown so it seemed to me like a pushed ryhming word.

Rachel

I love this poem

and thanks for the comment

I really like ur poems, i think ur a fab writer and we have a lil bit of the same styles in our writing, well i think ur great and i think ud love this one poem of mine, its called For You... (A Suicide Note) check it out if ud like
with love