WIDDERSHINS

Though I appear dead on the outside
I'm screaming underneath
trapped in my memories and dreams
of tomorrow and yesterday

I spend too much time
thinking of memories good and bad
living in the past
ignoring the changes that have happened

And I wish I was 7, 12, 15, 20, 25, 30 years old again
longing for those years
but knowing I must move on

Yesterday begins tomorrow
begins today
I must keep going
for stagnation is self destruction

But the clock in my head
keeps spinning backwards
and I long to feel alive
like I once did

But I must let go
of those things I can't change
what could've been is gone
forever swallowed by nostalgia

I seemed so much surer
back then
all my dreams and hopes
so fresh and possible

In retrospective everything
seemed better and I forget
the misery and discontent
I felt back then

Time moves on
and so must I
I still feel alive
but must let go

I'm here now because this
is where I've brought myself
there is no tomorrow or yesterday
only this moment now today

I need to live in
the here and now
to accept changes already past
and become more than I am

Life is what we make it
so don't forsake it
by living in the past
with things that couldn't last

and time is now
not in widdershins.

December 2, 2006